Day 7_featured image_cadbury freddo frog in green lime jelly pond_hartleys british jelly jello cubes_food for kid children toddler two year old boy son birthday party_animal theme

The Dad, the kids’ birthday party and the potential for disaster – Day Seven

(You can read Day Six by clicking here)

I’m out of time! Tomorrow is D-Day! My personal x-factor-style judging panel (Phenom-A-Mum) will be arriving tomorrow at 2pm promptly. She’ll decide whether I get a thumbs up for awesomeness, or a thumbs down and get thrown to the creepy little pixies who punish dads for bad birthday celebrations.

There is no escape.

Which is why this is going to be a show-and-tell update tonight. I’ve got to get back to the trenches!

What was that? You want to know how those cool but gross looking jelly worms turned out? I wish you hadn’t asked. They aren’t doing too well.

Day 7_life like jelly jello worms_not working after being set in one litre milk carton container_food for kid children toddler two year old boy son birthday party_animal theme

Pretty wrong-town, huh? And getting them out of those surprisingly bank-vault-like straws is not easy, or fun. So, as soon as Granny had finished the elephant ears I handcuffed her chains to a different table and got her squeezing each of the hundred little slimeys free of their bendy plastic cocoon.

Day 7_Granny hard at work squeezing life like jelly jello worms from plastic bendy straws_food for kid children toddler two year old boy son birthday party_animal theme

I can confidently say that they look grosser than expected, but I fear they are now too realistic for the party munchkins to be brave enough to try them. Little E ran screaming when I dangled one in front of him this morning.

Day 7_life like jelly jello worms_food for kid children toddler two year old boy son birthday party_animal theme

Next on the jelly list are Frogs in the Ponds. My first attempt at standing the little chocolate amphibians up in the setting jelly cups was fairly abysmal. Note the suicide swimmer below:

Day 7_featured image_cadbury freddo frog in green lime jelly pond_hartleys british jelly jello cubes_food for kid children toddler two year old boy son birthday party_animal theme

Some optimistic cheering from the home team supporters (my parents) led me to yet another MacGyver-esque stroke of kitchen genius. These Freddo Frogs are the confectionary equivalent of the town drunk; you turn your back to hail a taxi and they are face-planting the floor. So all they needed was some Karate-Kid inspired support:

Day 7_cadbury freddo frog in green lime jelly pond_bamboo skewer supports_food for kid children toddler two year old boy son birthday party_animal theme

I’m going to begin marketing these on Monday. Look for ‘Mr Miyagi’s Frogs’ at your local discount clear-out store.

Day 7_assembly of butterfly snack party lollies lolly sweet treat bags_wooden pegs pipe cleaners chenille sticks snap lock bag_plastic frog jumping toy_food for kid children toddler two year old boy son birthday party_animal theme

The crafty butterfly treat bags were also assembled on the Granny production line. Luckily she uncovered a critical flaw in my completely unplanned plan. The pegs were too small to go over the bags. We had our own OK Corral shoot-out going on with metal springs springing off all over the place. A quick visit to Spotlight (Ha! As if. Never drop in on a Saturday) and these old-fashioned pegs have become the googly-eyed solution.

Day 7_old fashioned wooden pegs with google googly plastic eyes glued on for utterfly party bag lolly snack sweet_food for kid children toddler two year old boy son birthday party_animal theme

CONSUMER WARNING! – I almost lost a hand performing the following task. Please do not attempt at home.

Or maybe just wear some gloves. Because cutting out seventy-something animal silhouettes from tortillas really hurt my hand! I had an elephant-shaped indent in my palm for ages (please refrain from the obvious ‘trunk’ jokes that I am already giggling at).

Day 7_lion shaped cookie cutter cut out tortilla chip_food for kid children toddler two year old boy son birthday party_animal theme

Next up from your local Granny-factory; pass-the-parcel. I was inspired by an attractive yet extremely boring lady on YouTube to add a toy AND chocolate to each layer of the parcel. But that was the only tip I took. No one needs to have a bucket-worth of glitter and stars and fairy dust and sparkles leap out at them every time one of the kids cracks a layer. Do these people have live-in cleaners wandering round after them?

Day 7_materials items for pass the parcel_plastic animal jungle farm wild toys_cadbury furry friends chocolate bar_wrapping paper robot stripes_scissors and sticky tape_food for kid children toddler two year old boy son birthday party_animal theme

I did manage to prep one item for the adult attendees. Homemade egg-free sausage rolls! Let’s be honest; of all of the fancy party food that I’m slaving away to create, these humble sausage rolls are going to be the only thing everyone scrambles to eat. Kids included.

Day 7_homemade no egg free sausage rolls for the adult party attendees_food for kid children toddler two year old boy son birthday party_animal theme

That brings me to the cake. THE cake. THE BIRTHDAY CAKE. Yep, that sink or swim element is also part of my punishment… I mean, responsibility. No pressure Dave. It’s just the only part that will be immortalised on a thousand Facebook walls for eternity.

So I needed to focus and get all super-zen-like. It was time for the cake-ninja. But Little E decided that today was a good day to skip his afternoon nap. All of you parents know what that means. Hello dummy-spits for no rational reason! It wasn’t boding well for your brave, brilliant and surprisingly handsome hero.

But it turns out that I am the luckiest dad around. Want to know why? Because my beautiful son stopped cracking it and began helping with the vacuuming. So cute! [Please note that the vacuum was not turned on. I don’t want a mountain of hate mail about child labour camps flooding my inbox. We only do retiree slave labour here.]

Day 7_helping with the vacuum cleaning_food for kid children toddler two year old boy son birthday party_animal theme

This gave me just the right amount of time to whip up an amazingly simple-but-crazy-good, nut-free, egg-free chocolate cake (a big shout out to my Mum-In-Law for researching and lab-testing this recipe for me!).

Day 7_making the cake_no egg free no nut free chocolate cake mixture_food for kid children toddler two year old boy son birthday party_animal theme

Not only that, but I also squeezed in a sweet-as pizza dough. Have you ever used ’00’ flour? I thought it was flour that was just the right size for a new-born to bake with. But it turns out that it makes the GREATEST DOUGH EVER! (Can you tell that I’m really getting into my role as house-chef?).

While all of this industry was happening inside the house, Grandad was quietly renovating our entire garden. And washing the windows! I have never ever washed our windows. I just assumed that they were tinted glass.

It’s all coming together!

I’m off now to chop up pizza toppings, mix up a couple of dips and decorate some marshmallows before bed.

Tomorrow is the big day. There’s a lot to do. But I think that this dad might just make it.

BOOM!

(Click here to read what went down on D-Day!)

The following two tabs change content below.

David Hawkins

Half nerd, all Dad & Founder of Big Kid Little Kid, the go-to blog for Awesome Dads. David is on a personal mission to become a more awesome dad to his two sons and teach them all the facets of being a major nerd. NES-off anybody?