by Lana Jane Fox
Everything changes when your first child is born and before you know it this screaming, drooling, pooping, smiling adorable, but also quite scary creature has your whole world revolving around its tiny pinky finger. From your home and work schedule to the amount of time you spend alone with your spouse. While trying to get a nap whenever/wherever and keeping up with work, you slowly find yourself alone amids the ruins of what was once your sweet love life. Do not despair though! Pull yourself together, up your game and find out how to seduce your spouse during these dire times.
Thinking of a big rose bouquet? Pffshh… That was so pre-kids!
In order to set the setting and give you an idea of my perspective on this guide, I will have to admit something to you. Some three years ago, I married Mr. Unromantic. So, as the hopelessly romantic spouse of a romantically challenged man, I actually started to appreciate a lot of simple gestures and actions that are hotter and say “I love you” better than roses.
If you want to impress the woman in your life and the mother of your children, the first rule of thumb is to stop and ask yourself: “If I were 12, would that be something I would get for her?” If the answer is “Yes!”, don’t buy it! Stuff toys are for teenage girls. Don’t get puppies too. She already has your kids!
Okay! Now that’s out of the way, I will proceed with some thoughts and believe I speak for most women when I say we need more of the following:
#1 Date Nights For Ourselves
Yes, occasionally we may want to get pretty, show off our dresses, put some make up and enjoy an evening talking about everything non-kids and work related. But very often that puts too much pressure on both sides and busy mums who are taking care of a child or three sometimes don’t even find the time to shave their legs. You know what would be nice? If you take the children to the movies, take one for the team and actually give us some time to take a shower and relax in a quiet house.
Sometimes the best date night is in front of the TV, while in pjs with a glass of wine and Ben and Jerry’s with all distractions removed. Don’t abandon us though. We don’t like these type of date nights to be a ‘surprise’. When we want you around, you can always do something for us so we can relax. What any busy mum really cherishes is a man’s ability to load and unload the dishwasher. So sexy!
#2 No Grand Displays of Affection Without a Grand Reason
Yes, grand displays of affection are awesome and may go a long way in the first few months of the relationship, but are a cry for help and attention if you constantly feel the need to re-assure us, especially when we don’t need re-assurance, but just a quality nap. It shows your own insecurity and it makes you look desperate.
Want to impress us? Instead do something we would really appreciate: cook dinner, get wine, put the kids to sleep, clean the home.
#3. No Useless Gifts, Please
It’s better to buy something useful for $100 cash, instead of spending it on roses for Valentine’s Day. Everyone knows that you can buy roses any other time of the year at a normal price, instead of spending a fortune on a tiny bouquet for the 14th of February. Here’s a secret: nothing says I love better than fixed plumbing and a roof that doesn’t leak. Having said that you can either spend money to get these fixed, or try fixing them yourself. Every woman is impressed by a handy man who knows his way around the tool box. What you may lack in romance skills, you can make up in learning the tricks of many trades – like moving furniture you no longer intend to use out of the garage, so we can park the car where it belongs. That’d be great!
Do these and throw a rose, or box of chocolates once in a while and you’d be irresistible to us!
Lana Jane Fox is a marketing executive for Paul’s Removals Melbourne, founder of the I Hate Cleaning Blog and an aspiring housewife, who wants to debunk the “Desperate Housewives myth”.
For more: http://ihatecleaning.com.au/
Photo in featured image by Kevin N. Murphy, used under Creative Commons licensing. To view image source click here.
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